More Questions than Answers

Deborah - the female judge of the Israelites.
The courageous leader of her people.
Was unafraid of failure, unknown, and ridicule. 
The one who stood up for injustice.
She brought freedom to her people.

I admire her, and countless other women who are fearlessly bringing social justice to the people they love. And they all love so many!

I have been reading Half the Sky and it has been showing me how achievable it is to be a woman like Deborah. There are so many stories of women who are fulfilling the qualities listed out about in this century that I have been born into. Each one of those women came from humble, or even shameful, beginnings and fought with their lives to make change for others, even if damage had already been done to the advocate herself. They are second. Third Rather. They care way more about the will of God and the well-being of others than of their own comfort. They Change lives.

I want to be one of them.

What if I did something that noteworthy of my life? Something that had a big enough impact to go to the presses. I don't want that for my own notoriety. I don't want it to be about the glorification of my own name. No thank you. I want it because I want to leave a legacy with my life. I don't want it to just fly by unnoticed.

How many lives can I change?
How many people can I free from oppression?
How many women can I inspire to have confidence in self?

Only time will tell. Anyone can write words. I don't want to be just anyone.

I want to be me.

So who am I?

My flesh and my heart may fail, 

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

...

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; 

I will tell of all your deeds. 

Psalm 73:26 & 28

Adult Things

I feel like such an adult. Yesterday I got up at 6am to get ready for work and worked a full work day. Spent my day being all mature talking to people on the phone and meeting with one woman in person. All day the people I interacted with outside the office actually viewed me as a worker. It's so amazing to get a little taste of what it's like to be a working adult. Honestly, I'm really excited for the day that it's for real.

I've been so reassured in the career path I'm seeking. However, prior to starting my internship I thought I knew the population I wanted to work with, but now I am questioning it more and more. It may still be where I end up but I am willing to try just about anything right now.

Here I come job search!

My minor capstone project is forcing me into reflection mode again. I'm currently digging back through my college years and identifying 3 key events that shaped the leader I am today. I'm out of shape with writing reflections but it's good to get back in the groove. Jake would be proud.

"Let not thy living be thy trade but thy sport" -Henry David Thoreau 

A December Night

It is a good December night: 

Newly found Ben Rector Christmas Album

Dancing alone in the kitchen

A pot of Sunday Caramel Escape black tea

Apartment decorated for Christmas

Worrysome presentation over

It's finally the weekend!

Life is oh, so good!

Thanksgiving on my mind

With the amazingly gluttonous holiday of Thanksgiving swiftly approaching, there is one thing that has frequently been on my mind: Food. No surprise there. I think about food often no matter what time of year it is. It's just the types of food that I dream about that changes.

Springtime: fresh lemonade and the first fruits of the garden

Summer: Hamburgers, Hotdogs, and melons

Fall: Squash, apples, turkey, and pies

Winter: Hot Tea, Christmas cookies, Holiday cheeses, soups, and anything else that's warm.

Now, I'm going to admit something with the hopes that you won't come hunt me down and threaten me but I'm not a huge fan of pies. I don't know what it is about them but they just don't "hit the spot". I would much rather have an amazing piece of cake or some chocolate chip cookies.

I have always glorified making pies in my mind. Whenever I heard the women in my family talking about baking them, it was always about their struggles to get it just right. I'm no expert baker so I've never had the confidence to attempt this baking challenge, but in retrospect, I'm not really sure why. 

Last week, a dear friend came to visit me we make a pumpkin pie! Despite not being a huge fan of most types of pies, I do love pumpkin pies! The custard-y goodness is just so irresistible! I had no idea how well it would turn out. I'm not even going to try to be humble about this. It was DELICIOUS! And not to mention super duper easy. I don't understand why people don't make their own pumpkin pies more often. In comparison to other home-baked treats it was about as easy as making brownies from a box mix (if you buy the pie crust that is).
 

I am now inspired to never buy a pumpkin pie from the store, ever. I am hoping to whip up some of my newly conquered pumpkin pies for the upcoming fatty season.